HEY ETSY YOU SHOULD MAKE THIS…
Plasmids for Life
Stuck in traffic? Not for long. With Devil’s Shortcut you could open a portal to anywhere. Have an overnight guest wanting to cuddle in the morning? Nope. Have a neighbor threatening to call the cops about your overnight guests disappearing? Not anymore. “Accidentally” send that same neighbor through a portal into the sun? Now you’re getting it.
And it doesn’t have to stop there; Mother’s Mute would silence all children within 500 feet, Changing Viewpoint would let you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, literally, and Plan B would…uh, never mind.
And of course, to be responsible, each plasmid would feature the standard warning label: side effects include dementia, fits of rage, inexplicable admiration for the works of Charlaine Harris, madness, delusions, chemical dependency, and anal leakage.
Come on Etsy, would you kindly make this?